The fighter my dad is

The last 6 days have been quite emotional and upheaving as one can imagine while dealing with the decline in a loved ones health. As posted before, we made the tough decision to put my dad on a ventilator, which in turn has probably saved his life. As the next couple of days unfolded, we saw him struggling when everyday procedures needed to be done on him. Sometimes having to see him try to gasp for air and calm down from anxiety for up to 50 mins. He was having to be sedated during these episodes to help calm him down. Which having him sedated the majority of the day was not what the dr wanted. So after speaking with my mom and brother, I expressed to the dr we wanted my dad to be as comfortable as possible and we would like him to have a traecheotomy. He would still need the ventilator, but no tubes in the mouth and down the throat. Just an incision under the Adams apple and a tube placed there. That was done last night...lil under 20 hours after asking the dr to do the procedure. Time is of the essence when going from ventilator to traech. There is a small window of opportunity, If my dad wasn't strong enough or the oxygen levels weren't right, he would have to be on the vent tubes for the rest of his life. When I heard this I knew that this was not an option for him. That if he were to get better, he would whether on vent tubes or traech.

So here we are the morning after, my dad looks tired, but he is back down to 70% oxygen and numbers are looking good. He's still sedated but at least we can see his face without tape and he can mouth words with his lips. I still have hope for my dad, but I am also facing reality. It's a fine line to balance, but the Lord is helping me through this. I may only have short time with my dad. I try to come to terms with this every minute of the day. But no matter the sorrow I feel, I'm here with him giving him everything I can to comfort and bring a smile to his face. I remind him he's raised a great family and that 11 of us are awaiting his recovery that may or may not come. I tell him to let me take care him as he has continued to take care of me, up to the very day of his coming to the hospital. I tell him that I love him and to rest and get strong. He is a fighter. He has amazed me at his strength and his honor to still have his main concern to be about my mom, first and foremost, and then his family. This is my dad...and I love him.

I continue to pray throughout the day to give thanks to the Lord. He is our savior and has listened to the prayers being said for my dad.

faith patience and hope...all will be good in the end.